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We function through and thanks to communication. Unfortunately, the fact that we talk to each other does not always mean that we actually understand each other. Metacommunication is communication about the way we communicate with each other. In this article we will discuss this in more detail with a number of examples of metacommunication.

What is metacommunication?

We consider communication to be the most important life skill. It is a kind of human encounter, where we want to understand the other party. Despite the development of science, technology and awareness, there are more and more communication problems. The main reasons are lack of time, too much information and not noticing, acknowledging or 'seeing' the other person.

We communicate so that others get to know us and sometimes we hide behind what we say. An important help in improving communication is feedback on the result. This way you check with the recipient whether he really understands you. This gives you tools to improve your communication because you know better what requirements it must meet. What also helps is understanding the communication process.

We call the awareness of this communication process metacommunication. It's about:

  • The way we each other to approach.
  • The way we express ourselves to understand.
  • The way we deliver the messages decrypt.
  • The way we respond to messages comment.

Metacommunication includes three components:

  • When you have to undertake an activity to convey and understand information.
  • Factors that the effectiveness of the message determine.
  • Interaction of variables in the communication process.

What is the purpose of metacommunication?

Communication is a process between sender and receiver, which consists of translating and (hopefully) understanding the content of the message. We speak of effective communication if the recipient understands the content as the sender intended it.

Metacommunication works with the help of extensive information channels, the informal and the formal communication network. We also distinguish differences in speed, accuracy, usability for a manager and satisfaction of group participants.

Metacommunication helps you discover whether the message really comes across and whether the other person really understands it. It helps you remove any blockages in the communication process.

Examples of metacommunication

Psychologists define metacommunication as total of verbal and non-verbal communication. This also includes all non-verbal signals, such as body language, voice tone and facial expression. Gestures that convey meaning also diminish or enhance what we communicate with words.

Suppose you meet someone and say, “I'm so glad to see you!” and meanwhile you roll your eyes. Then that person probably won't believe that you are really happy to see him or her.

There are different forms of communication. We use these four means of communication the most every day: verbal, non-verbal, written and visual. Meta messages are messages that arise from having to read between the lines.

For example, a businessman who sends a message to his wife indicating that he has four meetings scheduled for the morning and a report due in the afternoon is essentially saying, “Don't bother me today.”

Another good example is when you are angry, your body language and facial expression clearly show this, but when someone asks if something is wrong, you answer bluntly: “Nothing!”.

Here there is a clear contradiction between what you said and your body language. And have you ever experienced that you are preparing your children's favorite dish and they serve two portions, but when you ask if they liked it, you get the answer "No" and a big smile?

There are many reasons behind the above situations. Maybe someone doesn't feel completely comfortable telling the truth or the full story. Social protocol sometimes also dictates that people say something completely different from what they feel. If this is the case, then the words are basically just formalities and mean little or nothing.

What is the content level and what is the relation level?

Communication is an integral part of life. What Paul Watzlawick and his colleagues mean by this is that all behavior is a form of communication in itself. This applies to both the explicit and hidden levels.

Even silence is a way to convey a message. This means that it is simply impossible not to communicate with other people. There is no such thing as a complete lack of communication. We distinguish two components of communication. These are them content level and the relational or employment level.

The above principle is related to the fact that for all types of messages, not only the meaning of the message itself (content level) is important, but also how the speaker wants to be understood. And the latter is known as the relational level.

The content level corresponds to what we communicate verbally. The level of relation, on the other hand, concerns the way in which we convey this message. It has to do with, among other things, the tone of the voice, facial expression and context.

What is Watzlawick's theory?

The way we send, receive and interpret a message is influenced by several factors. According to Paul Watzlawick's communication theory, this involves the following factors:

1. Feedback between people

We interact with each other all the time. When communication problems arise, they cause problems on one side and lead to misunderstandings on the other side. There is a vicious circle that causes these difficulties and sometimes it is not easy to find out exactly how this misunderstanding arose.

2. Communication is a reflection of the quality of our relationship

According to Watzlawick, we pass on information when we interact with each other, but the quality of our relationship can make that information different. This means that the tone, in which context we deliver the message and what our relationship is like, determine how the other person understands the message.

In communication, intention is more important than words and technical skills. If you want to do good for the other person, you act with the intention of getting along well with each other, even when there is discussion between you.

3. Communication is a reflection of our previous life experiences

The relationship and resulting communication are constantly updated based on your previous experiences. Each of us is literally immersed in communication from birth.

We differ as people, we have different experiences, we grow up in a different environment characterized by different communication patterns. This means that each of us perceives things differently and often interprets them differently. It is very good to be aware of this.

Also read: different types of communication styles.

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